Saturday, 30 November 2013


Well I'm cooking again.

And blogging.

But not really blogging... Still working on the book. In between feeding my creeping up alcoholism and the constant twitch I've developed whenever my apprentice starts to temperature probe a chip (yes a fucking chip. As in a starchy, handcut aioli-sided potato chip), before asking me if it's cooked.


Fucking muppets.

Somebody buy my book. Then I can have a holiday... And maybe get rid of this twitch.

Seriously, I'm a cross between a sad half-assed orgasm and a mental patient in the dementia ward of an aged care home that isn't quite old enouigh to be there...

Please buy my book :) if I ever find a publisher.

I miss you all!!!!


  1. Awesome!
    Welcome back!
    Glad to see you didn't let the bastards get you down.

  2. Slightly intoxicated one evening I decided on "Available to Work Nights and Weekends."

    A classic saying that is written on every resume I have ever submitted. But I guess I should stick with the classic "Diary of an Apprentice" Seeing as that got me my name.

    Any ideas?