Wednesday 27 March 2013

Are You My Soulmate?

So I'm running for the train at Melbourne Central down those God damn stairs because the stupid thing is fucking early and I am carrying a fair bit of stuff.

Anyway, this absolutely unbelievably gorgeous brunette is running behind me and steps on my shoe.

Now, I mean gorgeous. As in if Jessica Biel bred with Natalie Portman type gorgeous. She was wearing All Stars and a boys jumper and had a delightful black bow headband on.

Anyway, she stepped on my shoe, causing me to trip and drop my bag, holding my arm out to stop myself from falling.

She helps me up whilst screeching "Fucking cunts Metro, my God are you ok you gorgeous thing? I am so sorry! Fuck these fuckers where's my bar blade when I need it!"

...

-cough-

Oh my God she's a hospo with a potty mouth and a taste for Hugo Boss.

Attractive qualities aside of course, (I'm no 10/10) either I have a twin my parents never told me about or I just met my soulmate...

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