Monday, 18 March 2013


I get a little angry when I check in at airports.

Mainly because I always get stuck behind 'the fat guy'. Which wouldn't really bother me except for the slight unfairness of the traumatic, 'bank-breaking' (gold star for phrase manipulation) ordeal I have to endure whenever I go over my 30kg baggage allowance.

Now, I won't delve into my weight, but on an average week, I don't push over 50.

Why then, does the 160+ should-be Biggest Loser contestant in front of me whose left ass cheek alone would probably tip my entirety off a seesaw, get the same baggage allowance as me?

I usually have to tackle my aggressive tendencies at the prospect of paying extra for the 400 pairs of knock off Levi's I bought by getting heinously drunk and forming a one man conga line down the Business Class aisle.

And that's not fun for anybody.

Next time I'm just cutting out the middle man and strapping everything to my body.

"What's that Mr Security? Yeah I like to wear 7 pairs of jeans simultaneously. Problem dipstick?"

There should just be an averaged weight people are allowed to have. Like... 120kg. So if you weight 110, you get 10kg of free luggage. See my point?

That's a hell out a lot of Brazilian boots for me.

It'd also give a fuckload of motivation for people to lose weight before a holiday - The Qantas Weightloss Program For The Fat And The Poor.

But nooooo.

Gah. Choking on my own rage here.


  1. I agree and disagree yes the abease person should be made to pay more but being as I'm a cross-fit couch I weigh in at 97kg ( me at my lightest ) this weight being muscle and not fat. should I have to pay extra because I'm strong and healthy ?

  2. Yeah oath mate. I don't always fully think through my arguments when I'm on a rant. Maybe we could extend the weight to that of an obese level? Where anybody over that weight would have to be Arnie or Dwayne Johnson? In which case... I really don't think anybody is going to make them pay haha