Gran: "Will we be going into a depressed little 'I'm getting old' bubble for our birthday this year darling?"
Me: "Probably. But I'm actually going out this year too. I figure there's no better present than having all my friends in my favourite club with bangers and heineken. That and... I've asked them all for naked selfie birthday messages... Modesty hat or pine cone or garden gnome or something. Anything to naked up and excite my day."
Gran: "We all deserve friends who will get naked for us when we're feeling down."
I don't want to know what she's referring to but...