Sunday, 24 February 2013

Sex Advice.

I have only ever been given two pieces of 'sex advice' in my life.

One from my mother, who cornered me during a thunderstorm on a camping trip and told me : "darling, I don't care who you end up with, just don't have sex with only one persin in your life."

The other was from my first girlfriend on the topic of giving head.

To this day I still think it's the greatest thing anybody has ever said about anything.

So if you don't know what you're doing, or ladies, if who you're with doesn't have a clue, here's how you teach them:

"It's like eating a mango and you can't use your teeth."

Fucking genius.

You're weeeeelcome.

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